


Home is where you are

by iceubaek



Category: Chanbaek - Fandom, EXO
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Baekhyun - Freeform, Chanyeol - Freeform, M/M, Romance, Slice of Life, break up make up, the thought of mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:02:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26059189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iceubaek/pseuds/iceubaek
Summary: Almost five years in relationship, and a month of doubts.Throughout the years of being together, things weren’t really good at all times but they were happy. In fact, Baekhyun was contended enough of what they were, as long as they are together and in loveㅡor so he thought.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 55
Kudos: 287





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so im going to make this chaptered but 3 chapters only. Will be posting the parts that you already read in the thread and would be posting the continuation as part 2 and part 3. So if you just came across this story, uhm, Hi... you can still read the part1
> 
> please dont expect this to be that good, forgive my english because "i dunt izbeak engllis veri gud! "
> 
> I love you for reading this and enjoy? well that's not quite the right thing to say since this is angst. maybe enjoy the pain?? 
> 
> skip this chapter if you already read the thread.

Almost five years in relationship, and a month of doubts.

Throughout the years of being together, things weren’t really good at all times but they were happy. In fact, Baekhyun was contended enough of what they were, as long as they are together and in love.

They decided to live together despite their parents contradicting. One of the reasons why they were delaying their marriage. They also need their blessings.

They rented a space that costs 400k won per month, they shared monthly bills and expenses, they have jobs with struggling wages—to sum it all up, though in love, they’re not exactly living in a luxury.

Baekhyun had one full time job but also take part times in the weekends. He was always job hunting, running for money to pay the bills. While Chanyeol is an assistant manager in a Marketing Company, battling for a promotion.

First three years was honeymoon yet the succeeding years, it was just trying to live and survive life for the sake of each other.

Baekhyun was up for the challenge though. He had been always rooting for Chanyeol to get the promotion even if his lover stays overtime at work or join his bosses for a late night drink. If Chanyeol works overtime, Baekhyun would risk to catch the last two night buses just to deliver him his dinner and if he’s out with his bosses in a club, Baekhyun would patiently wait for him to attend him and prepare hangover soup for him in the morning.

Baekhyun was capable to do all that, even if he’s exhausted from his full-time and part-time jobs, he’d do everything for his Chanyeol. Because he was happy. Even if everyone tells him he’s like Chanyeol’s obedient puppy, he’d just laughed at them and say, “Puppy? That’s cute. Loyal and cute!”

But time arrived when Chanyeol returned to their home with a news. They were already on the bed, about to sleep, then came Chanyeol saying so nonchalantly,

“I have to date our superior’s daughter for a week. He told me her daughter likes me. So if I want that promotion, I have to date her.”

Like it didn’t matter to Baekhyun.

Baekhyun tried to keep the disappointment. “So, you agreed?”

“It’s just a week, love…” Chanyeol pulled him into his arms, until his face is pressed against the taller’s broad chest. “For the promotion. Then once I’m promoted, my wage will be enough for our marriage.”

Baekhyun fought the urge to cry. The tears were already brimming in his lids, but he blinked them away and struggled to swallow in the numbing pain in his throat.

His lover gave him gentle pats in the back, peppering kisses on his crown. “Patience love… I know you want me to be promoted too, right? I’m doing all of this for you, Love.”

That was the tricky line. “ _Chanyeol is doing everything for him.”_

Then the dating started. The girl was “ _annoying_ ”. She’d always call Chanyeol all the time. Like there was one moment, Chanyeol was eating dinner with Baekhyun then she all of a sudden called him. Baekhyun composed himself, even if his lover was sweet-talking her right in front of him.

Baekhyun saw some of their chat conversation, one time by accident. It was while Chanyeol was taking a shower and his phone was always bleeping with notifications.

It was okay, flirting was okay. But there’s this one thing that the girl said that Baekhyun couldn’t get off his mind.

[ _if you marry me, I will tell dad to promote you.]_

And what Chanyeol replied,

[Hmm, sounds interesting.]

Was he really that obsessed for the promotion?

But, Baekhyun carried on, without showing any signs of jealousy and anger. He still attended his soon-to-be-husband like the usual.

Chanyeol called him one night that he had to work overtime again. Baekhyun was still in his part time job when his lover phoned him up, and immediately he excused himself regardless not receiving the payment since he wasn’t able to finish the agreed working-hours for a pay. Just two more hours to go and he’d get those wons in his pocket for their electric bill. But he had to hurry home to cook some dinner for his Chanyeol.

Baekhyun rushed back home and cooked his go-to recipe in case situations like this happens.

It was raining when he was done, but he still left to catch the last night bus. His umbrella even got broken away by the strong wind. Good thing the bus came just right on time so the rain didn’t soak him wet that much.

Not until when he reached the stop. Unfortunately, he still had to walk to Chanyeol’s company. So through the rain, he ran and reached the company, drenched in rain and shivering.

Baekhyun didn’t mind and just went inside the lift, pressing the floor where he believed Chanyeol was. Once at the floor, he walked directly to his cubicle only to see Chanyeol with someone else.

With that girl.

And they already bought take outs for dinner.

So what was the point of calling him if he’d just order a fast-food take out with her?

Baekhyun didn’t have the guts to face him now, so quietly, he exited the place and ventured back home under the pouring heavy rain.

Baekhyun was still awake when Chanyeol came home. It was two in the morning. After changing into his indoor clothes, Chanyeol slips himself under the covers next to Baekhyun, facing his back to the latter.

Baekhyun expected him to be sleeping right away, like he always do. But what he heard next were typing sounds, then later, Chanyeol hushed, “Hmm, I’m home. Good night.”

The next morning, Baekhyun felt like he was on fire. He caught a fever so he stayed rested on the bed. While Chanyeol on the other hand, woke up to the sound of his alarm clock, oblivious as he walked himself straight to the shower. He did his usual routine but never wondered why Baekhyun was still not getting up. Usually, Baekhyun would rise up a little early to make him breakfast and lunch, _but not today_. He wasn’t feeling okay. Chanyeol saw the bento box on the table that Baekhyun was supposed to give to him last night for dinner. But he was clueless. Thinking that was his lunch, he took the bento box and just left the house, without checking on Baekhyun.

Baekhyun helped himself alone, treated his fever alone.

Baekhyun received too much scolding from his boss, _why he didn’t come to work?_ , _if you’re sick then better quit._ _I don’t believe your excuses, just come here or you’re fired._

Baekhyun was so tired.

So he called Chanyeol.

“Love?” He sounded funny due to all the crying he did in the past hours.

“ _Hmm? You got a cold?”_ asked Chanyeol.

“I’m not feeling well.” His lips quivered into a pout.

“ _Oh_ …” Chanyeol hummed. Baekhyun could hear him still typing work in his computer. “ _I think we have fever meds in the e-kit. Take that and rest. That’s because you’re working too much. Take an off.”_

It was suddenly hard to breathe, “M-My boss told me… that if I don’t report to work today, then I’m fired already.”

“ _Ah… then don’t go. You have a lot of part time jobs. That will do.”_

Did he just?

“Chanyeol do you still love me?” Baekhyun’s voice croak.

His heart broke more when the latter scoffed a laugh. “ _Why are you asking that all of a sudden? That’s because of your fever… take a rest now okay? I’ll call you later…”_

He couldn’t even say yes?

“I’M SICK CHANYEOL! I’M SICK!” Baekhyun yelled and cried, reaching his limit.

“ _Love_ …” Chanyeol sighed. “ _I’m at work okay? I can’t leave now. If I leave now then my promotion will be gone as well—”_

“Promotion or me?”

“ _Baekhyun not now._ ” Baekhyun didn’t miss that stern voice from his lover.

He called him, _Baekhyun_. And whenever Chanyeol is disappointed of him, the man would call him by his name.

“YOUR WORK OR ME?!” he screamed. “ANSWER ME!”

“ _Baekhyun you sound ridiculous okay—”_

“Let’s break up.”

“ _W-What_ …”

“WE’RE OVER!”

The call ended.

And Chanyeol didn’t even call him back.

Baekhyun started packing all of his things though weak and sick. He didn’t even know where he got the strength to move—maybe driven by hurt.

He’s so hurt, so much.

He remembered the girl messaging Chanyeol about the marriage and how he replied that he’s interested.

Baekhyun suddenly caught his reflection in the mirror. He stared at himself, looking all miserable. He didn’t look happy anymore. He felt so ugly, so insecure of himself.

“Maybe after all, he still wants a girl to marry.”

Chanyeol’s parents didn’t approve of him. They had this family belief that they have to marry off their son to a woman.

Baekhyun can bear a child, so why?

He was too preoccupied of his thoughts that the sudden opening of the door was flabbergasting. Chanyeol came home, past lunch.

But what took Baekhyun so much aback was the look of dismay in Chanyeol’s face.

Chanyeol stared at his packed clothes briefly then snickered at him. “So you were serious?”

God, Baekhyun swore to himself. He didn’t want to fight more. He’s so exhausted.

“Baekhyun what the hell is wrong with you? We’ve been dating for five years! We’ve gotten used to this. I know you’re sick but you used to treat yourself alone right? I treated myself alone too when I caught a fever—”

“You don’t understand!” Baekhyun got itched to cut him off. Warm tears filled his eyes until they flowed down like a river to his face. “Y-You don’t understand it at all.”

Chanyeol sighed. “Is it because of my boss’ daughter?”

Baekhyun stayed quiet, silently sniffing tears.

“Look…” the taller scoffed. “Didn’t I clearly tell you this is just for work? And you didn’t even disagree, right?”

“Chanyeol, am I joke to you—”

“Baekhyun just stop being so over dramatic okay?” Chanyeol raked his fingers swiftly through his hair, gritting his teeth. “I’m almost there! I’m almost getting that promotion we always wanted—”

“Not we. Just you.”

That rendered Chanyeol speechless, that he could only stutter, “W-What?”

“Can’t we just live like how we used to? We were happy then Chanyora—”

“No we’re not! We keep on delaying the marriage because we couldn’t afford it! How can I give you the life you wanted if you’re being inconsiderate like this?” Chanyeol suddenly raising his voice, made Baekhyun shiver in fear.

Trembling, Baekhyun answered. “I only want you in my life, we living together—”

“Hungry and Poor?” Chanyeol griped back. “We’re not anymore in college, Baekhyun. We’re not young anymore to believe that as long as we’re together, we’ll be fine! No! That kind of love will not give you food and shelter expenses! If you love me you should be happy for me! I’m sick and tired of you, making me the bad guy here!”

“I caught a fever because I went to you last night to give you some dinner—”

“Did I tell you to come?” Chanyeol spat. “Did I tell you to walk in the rain? Did I require you to take all the part time jobs in the world to pay the bills? Did I ask you to make me breakfast, lunch and dinner everyday?” the smirk on Chanyeol’s lips shattered Baekhyun’s heart more into pieces. “What is this, guilt tripping?”

Baekhyun felt like his bile rode up to the back of his throat, and it made him feel sicker. He lost too much energy shouting that he just bursted out into tears and dropped himself sitting on the floor.

He couldn’t talk back to him anymore. He’s so tired.

Chanyeol ran a hand down his face then, shrugged. “I’m going back to work. Leave if you want to or stay, I don’t care. I feel so hurt right now that of all the people, it is you, _Love_ , that is stopping me from reaching my dreams.”

Then he left, without looking back, even if Baekhyun blacked out and fainted after their heated argument.

Baekhyun woke up, laying in the same position he fainted on. It’s already half past three in the morning, no signs of Chanyeol at home.

He heaved himself up and looked for his phone. There’s no notification from Chanyeol, no calls, no sorries.

Baekhyun looked back to his packed bags and decided. “I guess it’s really over.”

  * ••



It had been a week and Chanyeol never heard anything from Baekhyun since then. He tried to move on with life, though with a huge void residing in his heart. The bed was awkwardly huge for him to sleep on, the kitchen was awfully quiet—his world was all of a sudden silent.

He woke up and dragged himself off the bed to prepare for work. After taking a shower, he went to check his closet for his office suit but once he slid the closet doors open, he got stuck in a daze—three fourths of the closet was his, and that small portion that’s empty now, used to be Baekhyun’s.

Ah, he remembered. He once chastised the ex-lover for wearing the same cycle of clothes over and over again. Why Baekhyun suddenly loved plain colored shirts because it wouldn’t be obvious if he wore them again. He stopped buying new ones for himself unless Chanyeol buys it for him instead.

Baekhyun would always say to him, “ _I’d rather buy us a kilo of mackerel for your lunch tomorrow, right?”_

Then back to his clothes. They were all folded and piled nicely, by color and type. Even his office suits that he usually wears everyday were all hanged and ironed with crisp edges.

Again, Baekhyun told him once, “ _See, if I arrange it this way it would be easier for you to look for your clothes. I put your favorite ones here and then I let your suits hanged here so if you go to work, taking it out would be hassle-free!”_

Baekhyun would even spend half an hour every night, ironing his clothes, before he goes to bed.

Chanyeol shook his head, picked a suit then closed the closet with a thud.

When he’s dressed and done, he made a quick trip to the refrigerator to check something he could just grab and eat, only to find an organized rack of their groceries inside. There were go-to ref-snacks he could just take and eat in the bus. Even their meals for each day were properly sealed in containers. All ziplocks with marinated meat in it, plastered with labels.

**[Love’s Lunch : Monday]**

Even dinners.

**[emergency! For LOVE’s Dinner!]**

Suddenly he could hear Baekhyun’s reminders in his head. “ _If I’m here, don’t take the go-to ref snacks because I’ll cook for you instead. You can only eat that if I’m sick, or if I’m out to distribute newspapers and milk. Part time!_ ”

And then he wondered about those days he caught Baekhyun multiple times eating convenience store Kimbap during lunch. All of that with same reasons that he forgot to bring his lunch.

Even remembered him saying, in a slip of the tongue, “ _I’d rather eat Kimbap than seeing you starve. My future Manager should have a nice lunch he can boast to his colleagues and bosses!”_

Chanyeol closed the ref without taking any. He lost his appetite.

He went to the main door, and was about to wear his shoes. Then he saw the rack of them, well-polished and arranged at the side.

This was Baekhyun’s doing again.

And Baekhyun? He suffered with one pair of sneakers. That pair of sneakers that used to be white but turned yellow through the years, and had gone through a lot of rugbies and stitches. Whenever Chanyeol tells him to buy a new one, he’d just answer,

“ _This is precious to me okay. And don’t you ever dare buy me new ones. I believe in that myth that if your lover will buy you shoes, you will run away and leave him._ ”

Chanyeol wished he should have just bought him a new pair. He ran away, anyway.

Chanyeol just continued his day like the usual. He went to work, got some _shts_ there done, until it was lunch. Because he didn’t take breakfast earlier, he was feeling kinda hungry. So he planned to just get some convenience store goods. But on his way out, one of his colleagues called him and asked, “I was just wondering, why you’re not bringing your fancy lunch boxes anymore to work these days. We always envy you, you know… We even thought you were already married to someone.”

He couldn’t answer. He just smiled at him then left.

There’s a tropical cyclone so it was raining the entire week. Chanyeol found himself finishing his work quite early as if he was in a hurry to get home.

Some of his friends stopped by his cubicle and invited him.

“Yah the cold weather is nice for a drink! Wanna come?!”

“Sorry someone is waiting for—”

Wait, who’s waiting for him?

Ah, again. Because it was raining, Chanyeol thought Baekhyun would be there in the bus shed, waiting to give him an umbrella because he always forgets to bring one.

He scoffed to himself.

“No, I’ll come with you guys.”

Chanyeol drowned himself with alcohol that night. He couldn’t get Baekhyun off his mind. He couldn’t just forget about him. His ex only asked him a day, a day to be with him while he’s having a fever—that one day he was asking could never be compared against every thing Baekhyun had done for him. 

He walked back home drunk and was welcomed by the emptiness.

Ah usually, when Baekhyun knows he’s out to drink with his friends, the smaller would wait for him patiently until he gets home, just to attend his needs.

But now…

He could only laugh dryly to himself.

“Ah… There’s more of you inside me than myself.”

Maybe alcohol or maybe because his stupid brain just realized it now… Chanyeol erupted into sobs.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What day is it? How long does a pain last? Until you are numb and used to it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the continuation! 🥺✨

What day is it? How long does a pain last? Until you are numb and used to it?

The sound of his mom’s busy footsteps woke Baekhyun, and the light coming from the windows was so bright he had to block his eyes. His eyes felt so heavy and swollen after all the crying he did almost every night that it was quite hard to pry them open now. He stared at the void, the wrongness of falling in love was creeping into his soul once again. For days it was just all about the hefty feeling in his chest, the pain throbbing in his heart.

How many times did he wake up to the same futon, dragged himself outside and tried to act “ _normal_ ” in front of his mom who didn’t have the time to care and ask him about his crying spells every night because she was busy selling fresh seafoods in the wet market… For how many times did he pretend… Baekhyun was tired of counting.

He came from a poor family where heartaches wasn’t a case to be discussed about. His father left them for another woman. And his mother, instead of weeping about it, she chose to stay strong and continued to survive life.

“ _Mom, it’s okay… if it hurts, you can cry. It’s okay…_ ” he remembered telling her once, when the pain his dad caused was still evident.

But, she only smiled at him, one that didn’t reach her eyes. “ _The fact that he chose to walk away is a sign that he at least cared. Why would he stay with me if he’s not anymore the same man that I loved?_

_“Baby, it hurts… but it’s fine. I am fine. I have you, and that’s all that matters. You’re a reminder that for once, I was in love, I felt love.”_

Baekhyun wished he had the same strength like her.

He wished he could just say “ _I’m fine.”_ with a straight face on, though deep inside his heart was truly bleeding.

Did he cry? Yes. A lot. He cried like he could die.

And he cried too much that it was already exhausting him, that he had enough.

_I got no time for this._

A mocking laugh escaped from his lips meant for him to hear. Maybe he’d just end up like his mom.

  * ••



“Baekhyun, you still sing right?” His mom asked him during their small dinner.

There was nothing much to be excited about it but hearing this first time from his mom was just out of the blue.

“Hmm yeah…” he chose not to pry.

Maybe it was also his fault why his mom wouldn’t even dare ask his whereabouts. He was always making their conversation close-ended.

"Our very own Jiyeon-ah is getting married this Sunday and they wanted you to sing for them.” She prompted.

Oh, Jiyeon, their relative. But also a close friend of Chanyeol. It was partially because of her that he and Chanyeol got close.

“Would you do it for them? They’d pay you!” she tried to sound enthusiastic.

Like as if Baekhyun had the money to reject such offer. He already made himself useless for weeks now, and he didn’t want to break his mom’s and Jiyeon’s heart.

So he ended up agreeing.

“Sure…”

Chanyeol was too far and too busy for his “ _promotion_ ” to accept the invite.

  * ••



The day of the wedding came. There weren’t that much guests around so Baekhyun felt a little less nervous in his crisp three piece black and white suit with a bow tie. It’s been awhile since the last time he stepped on a stage and perform. The stage fright was still there and he couldn’t help but reel through some memories of his few performances. One was during a school fair and it was only because of Chanyeol that he was forced to go on the stage to sing. He knew he could sing, his Chanyeol used to tell him he had the most angelic voice…

_His Chanyeol_ …

He almost got carried away in his train of sad thoughts when his friend came, bolting him back to his sanity.

“Baekhyun-ah!” it’s Jiyeon, the bride and his lovely cousin, looking beautiful in white

“Yah… aren’t you supposed to stand beside your husband?”

Jiyeon giggled, waving him off. “Ah! It’s not like you’re someone else Baekhyunee…” she trailed off, eyes suddenly busy roaming around.

And Baekhyun knew why.

“If you’re looking for him, we already broke up…”

His friend gasped loudly, too shocked of the news heard. “Eh? Are you serious?! I thought you came together?”

Baekhyun scoffed a dry laugh. “I’m sorry Jiyeon-ah—”

“Oh look see? He’s there!”

He’s there… _He’s here…_

And Jiyeon was right, at the far end corner, Chanyeol was there, handsome as always in his fitted suit. He was already looking back when Baekhyun spotted him, _who knew for how long…_ but just a mere eye contact had conveyed so much of what they feel.

One thing Baekhyun saw—remorse.

But another thing Baekhyun wanted him to see was, hate.

  * ••



_Took so much time to forget you, but just one look and I find myself going back…_

Baekhyun tried to stand courageous in front of the crowd, let the music spilled drift him away from the current. He closed his eyes with the last image of Chanyeol standing lonely in that same corner and with sad eyes watching him.

“ **Heart beats fast, colors and promises… How to be brave, how can I love when I’m afraid to fall…** ”

He knew he was singing a lovely song, one that would merge two hearts as one...

“ **But watching you stand alone… All of my doubt, suddenly goes away somehow…”**

But why did it feel so hefty in his chest… “ **One step closer…** ”

Baekhyun dared to open his eyes and through the crowd, his gaze automatically searched for the one that matters.

“ **I have died everyday, waiting for you… Darling don’t be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years…”**

_Chanyeol_ …

**“I’ll love you for a thousand more…”**

Baekhyun was quite relieved that the groom and bride took the spotlight away from him, as they waltzed their way in the middle of the dance floor, swaying in love to his song. Almost everyone was looking at them, fancied of their love story, and fully oblivious of Baekhyun’s silent tears.

But not Chanyeol… Chanyeol never tore his stare away from him.

**“And all along I believed, I would find you… Time has brought your heart to me, I have loved you for a thousand years…”**

“ _Baekhyun my love, what would you sing in our wedding?_ ”

**“I’ll love you for a thousand more…”**

_“A thousand years…”_

_“Because you want to be by my side for a thousand years?”_

_“Hmm… forever.”_

  * ••



It was inevitable. The world was indeed small for them. How Baekhyun feared for this day to come, the feeling was making him sick to the stomach.

He could’ve ran away and hid himself from him but what was the point?

Chanyeol looked like he was here for a talk. Once he left the stage, the taller followed him until they found themselves outside, away from the rest of the guests.

There was a few heavy moments of silence until Chanyeol chose to break it.

“How are you?”

“Fine.” Baek dryly said.

“Ah, great. Uhm…” Chanyeol sounded cautious like he was holding a fragile glass in the tip of his tongue, one wrong move and it’ll fall and break. “Have you eaten—”

“Stop beating around the bush and just tell me what you _fckn_ want Park.” Baekhyun snapped, sharp eyes now darted at Chanyeol.

The latter appeared a bit taken aback, and if Baekhyun was not just seeing things, he saw how hurt glinted in Chanyeol’s eyes.

And somehow, he loved seeing that.

“Baek, I’m sorry… P-Please come back to me—”

“Why? Are the dishes already piled? No more meals in the ref? Is your closet too messy you needed someone to fold your clothes for you?” Baekhyun scoffed. “You clearly told me you don’t need that type of care…”

“Baek… please.” Chanyeol tried to reach for his hand but Baekhyun stepped back, not allowing him.

“For what Chanyeol?” he paused, his gaze seething against the taller’s sad ones. “I know you, you’re like this.. you’re always like this…” he sighed. “You only need me when sht happens, when you need someone to fix your sht but good news for me, I’m no longer that kind of person! I’m not coming back, I’ve had enough, Mr. Park.”

Chanyeol kept his mum and Baek took that to continue.

“You’re right, we’re no longer in college where a simple sorry and I love you would mend the pain away. We’re not anymore in that stage where for as long as we’re together it’ll be fine… You’re right! My kind of love will not give you food and shelter expenses! And yes, the kind of love that you want is to have someone who is willing to promote you in a lax life, someone who will make you successful and will make you appear as the good guy…” Baekhyun couldn’t stop sniffing his tears in as he vented out with quivering lips, “And I’m not that guy Chanyeol… I’m not the one you were looking for. I couldn’t give you the luxurious life you’ve always been dreaming of… I’m just a shadow, the one who opens and closes the curtains of your stage, your behind the scenes… your sht cleaner… Someone not fitted in the kind of life you wanted.”

“My love, please don’t do this… let’s make up please, hmm? I’ll die without you, I love you so much, please…” Chanyeol was already crying, voice breaking, words almost incoherent.

“Where did you get the nerve to tell me that Chanyeol?” Baekhyun retorted, cold and harsh. “You only love me for your own convenience…” then bitterly chuckled. “Ah, you think I’m still dumb to get swayed by all that _you love me so bad you cant live without me,_ huh?”

“Baek, look at you. You look miserable, You look broken! I know you don’t like this as well… my love please, just give me a chance to correct myself. Please my love…” Chanyeol moved a step closer, wanting to touch the smaller so bad but Baekhyun pushed him away.

“Stop it Chanyeol, just stop. You broke me! We’re over… it’s over…” he paused, letting the pain echo through the deafening silence. “And I don’t really care how bad it hurts.”

  * ••



Chanyeol tried to live his life without Baekhyun, but as days went by, living without him was just hard and painful. He felt so empty, full of regrets. He wanted him back so badly.

He told his truth to the daughter of his superior, told her he’s already in love with someone else—everything about Baekhyun, that he was such an arse for hurting the love of his life, that after all, it was Baekhyun that he’d always choose and love.

And the answer he got from her surprised him.

_“I didn’t ask you to date me to marry me. I was just pretending as well, to relieve my father’s hetero ass.”_

_“wait—”_

_“I’m gay too you know. But unlike you, I couldn’t come out easily. I love this one beautiful girl but papa doesn’t like the thought of it, so he forced me to you.”_

Chanyeol was incredulous of the things heard.

“ _I’d give you that promotion, so you will earn the money you deserve and you can finally get married with him. Please go back to him. Get him back and give him the unconditional love that was meant for him_.”

And She kept her word. Chanyeol got the promotion. He’s finally earning more and he could finally give the life Baekhyun deserved.

The only one left was Baekhyun. Chanyeol needed to get him back.

Maybe God heard his prayers. He received a wedding invitation from his friend, Jiyeon, and without shame he asked her, “ _Did you also invite Baekhyun?”_

_“Yeah see, your names are written in the invitation. But I heard Baekhyun is currently staying with his mom but even without that, he can still enter. I asked him to sing for my wedding.”_

And Chanyeol saw the light. He went to the wedding and couldn’t describe the joy he felt once he found Baekhyun. Though it was painful to see how the affection was just gone in the eyes of his love, and all he could see was hate, he was fine with that, for as long as he’s finally here. He knew he deserved Baekhyun's hate.

When Baekhyun talked to him, he understood his tirade of hate. He was left with none to explain but his pitiful sorries and his frustration to make up with him.

And he accepted getting rejected but he promised he would keep trying.

He wouldn’t stop because he just knew, that the cure for the pain, is the pain itself.

  * ••



Chanyeol got the leave he requested, and decided that this break, he’s going to do whatever means just to get Baekhyun back. He rented a temporary space near to Baekhyun’s house. The closer the better. But when the latter found out, saw him one morning living across their residence, Chanyeol saw how livid Baekhyun was.

Chanyeol attempted to woo his way back to Baekhyun’s heart, brought him flowers, food and fancy stuffs, but every time he tried to knock on their gates, Baekhyun would just open the door only to spatter him with salt.

“Go away!” for how many times Baekhyun lured him away but he was persistent.

By the mean time that he couldn’t talk to his love yet, Chanyeol took the chance to apologize to Baekhyun’s mom first. At first, he got snob by her, taking the sides of her son of course, but after a few more tries like helping her bring the pails of fishes, helping her rinse the stinky tables and doing the customer service for her by using his charms to convince the _ahjummas_ to buy from them, Mrs. Byun ended up letting her guard down and gave him a chance.

"I brought a lot for lunch. Baekhyun cooked them for me. You can eat here with me if you don’t mind the fishy smell around—”

“I would love to, Mrs. Byun.” Chanyeol felt forgiven.

So while they eat, Chanyeol took the opportunity to tell everything to her, apologized for hurting her son and even cried when he couldn’t bare the emotions anymore.

“I-I love him so much, Mrs. Byun… I’m willing to do everything just to be with him again… I’m willing to do everything just to make him happy…”

Mrs. Byun sighed gravely for them. “Oh you two… both hurting.” She shook her head. “Now, I know your side and I understand but please be patient of my Baekhyun. You only see the anger but you don’t know how truly damaged he is inside. He cried every night because of you, he thought I couldn’t hear him. He was so broken, Chanyeol-ah. He left his province life just to be with you, he didn’t mind getting judged for loving you, he even lied to me that he had a stable job in the city when in fact he was just struggling in part time jobs because he didn’t want me to ask him to come back and leave you. He sacrificed a lot just to love you.”

It was even painful to hear more of Baekhyun’s suffering. Chanyeol’s tears were unstoppable.

“Please don’t break his heart, Chanyeol.”

“So you’re trying to poison my mom with your lies instead?!” came Baekhyun’s voice all of a sudden.

Both Chanyeol and Mrs. Byun stood from their seats and directed their attentions at Baekhyun who just arrived, and he was fuming.

“Love, I was just trying to help—”

Chanyeol wasn’t able to finish explaining himself as Baekhyun already thrown at him the pail with fish blood in it. Mrs. Byun even gasped at how disrespectful Baekhyun just acted. Chanyeol was still in the middle of his lunch. Now he’s drenched in the stinky blood.

“Byun Baekhyun that’s enough! Apologize to him!” Mrs Byun straight away chastised him.

But Baekhyun was stubborn. “No! I won’t apologize to him! He deserves it! He stinks more than the fish blood! He stinks more than the—” and he got slapped in the face by the older.

Chanyeol stood in stunned silence.

“So you’re going to disrespect me as well?” She gritted.

Baekhyun was appalled, but smirked while holding his throbbing crimson cheek, “So what now Chanyeol? Is this what you want? See me getting slapped by my mom—”

“I said enough! If you couldn’t even apologize, at least act like a human and bring Chanyeol to our house now!” she paused a bit, heaving, then added. “I didn’t raise you to be like that Baekhyun. Be ashamed.”

  * ••



Baekhyun was starting to feel that the world was against him. Why can’t people understand him? Even his mom didn’t get why he was hurting… how could she slapped him in front of Chanyeol? Of all the people, why in front of Chanyeol?

The way his heart broke to see himself back in attending the same man who hurt him. Let him shower in their own bathroom, prepared his clothes and even cooked some meal as an apology. It was like seeing himself back in square one.

And now, he’s not just hating Chanyeol but he was starting to hate himself as well.

They both sat in silence in the small dining table as Baekhyun mutely told Chanyeol to eat.

Chanyeol was about to refuse the food but just took it, afraid of upsetting the smaller more. Baekhyun was just staring at the space on the table, face void with emotions, thoughts far away from the current.

Why did they end like this? He was just trying to avoid Chanyeol, to lure him away and forget about him… but why…

“I apologize for throwing you the fish blood earlier—”

“Love…” Chanyeol’s voice was gentle. “It’s okay, I deserved it, and I understand, Love—"

“I said I’m sorry for throwing you the fish blood! Don’t forgive me that easily and just make the hate mutual!” Baekhyun griped back, his tears messing up his strong façade.

“Love… please…”

“Chanyeol, why?” he choked on his cries. “Chanyeol why? Just tell me why? It’s not that hard to unloved me Chanyeol-ah… it’s not that hard to forget about me… I’m just a nobody, Chanyeol-ah… even your family doesn’t like me… so why? Why would you settle for less… why did you come here just to shatter the life I was trying to reset back?!”

“I love you Byun Baekhyun.” Chanyeol answered, sounding final. “And no, it’s hard to unloved you because you’re the only one that my heart wants. It’s hard to forget about you because every _fcking_ time, my brain slips and I think of you! And you’re not just a nobody because you are someone so special to me, someone so precious to me that I just took for granted! And I am such an arse for that and for not valuing you! You’re more than everything in this world Baekhyun, not even a god damn promotion would ever replace you! You matter to me Baekhyun and I love you!”

A pin-drop silence.

_Ah sht, why is it so hard?_

Baekhyun was still crying as he hanged his head down low. “F-Finish your food… d-don’t leave a grain.”

And Chanyeol quietly followed.

Once done with his meal, Chanyeol rose from his seat and walked over to the sobbing Baekhyun, his shoulders shaking. He knelt down on one knee, reached for the smaller’s face and cupped his cheeks gently. He tilted his head to the side, letting their eyes meet. Guilt was consuming him as the image of Baekhyun crying struck more pain to his heart. How could he make this precious angel suffer and cry? Chanyeol thumb away Baekhyun’s tears that were falling nonstop while he fought the urge to cry along with him.

“I’m sorry, my love. I’m sorry for everything…”

Baekhyun’s lips was trembling, his sobs not allowing him to speak.

Chanyeol moved forward to kiss him in his forehead, his eyes, his nose and then his lips, doing it so gently because Baekhyun felt like a precious artifact he didn’t want to break again.

He rested his forehead against the latter’s and held his sullen eyes with his, sincerely. “Home is where you are…”

Baekhyun cried louder this time like a child but Chanyeol was finally there, to hold and soothe him down, and bask him with affection.

_Home_ …

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, we're not over you Chanyeol! Aha! I'm going to give you more pain but... it'll be like a good pain, 👌🏻
> 
> so i'll be posting it maybe soon... or after another nap. 
> 
> Thank you for reading this! please leave a comment for your thoughts! would love to hear from you!! 🥺💕


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pain. Just pain.

* * *

Being back in love with Chanyeol was bliss but Baekhyun felt the insecurity grew in him more as their relationship progressed. It was sadly inevitable, to expect a situation like the latter leaving him for being less pretty, poor, unpopular and just a nobody. He was always bracing himself for Chanyeol was a handsome guy who came from a family of professionals—who others deemed would be better off without him.

Chanyeol was sweet, he was consistently assuring, _that they will work, that they’re going to conquer it all as long as they’re together_ but, Baekhyun still felt unsure. There were constant voices speaking inside his brain, the constant anxiety that had his throat clawed in suffocation—it was the fear of waking up to Chanyeol one day, not in love with him anymore.

When the people in their lives knew about their relationship, most of them made Baekhyun think that he didn’t deserve Chanyeol. The Parks didn’t like him, because _again_ , he was poor and not worthy to hold their family name. Some of Chanyeol’s friends disliked him for causing bad luck to the taller’s future. They all just wanted him to leave Chanyeol be. They all made Baekhyun feel that Chanyeol was too much for him.

And poor Baekhyun was afraid, he believed them.

More loneliness after he was pushed back by his mom again to Chanyeol, saying, “ _Leave my house and sort your love quarrel_.”

No one understood him for wanting to be loved equally. Why? Just because he was the poor one, he had to serve Chanyeol forever to prove his worth? Work a lot of part times to catch up with Chanyeol’s stable job?

Baekhyun went back to the city with Chanyeol that day, because he didn’t have the choice. Because everyone was telling him he didn’t have the right to act so hard to get because having Chanyeol was already a luxury to him.

Baekhyun returned to the same apartment, with his small bag and few stuffs. He put his six plain shirts, the seventh one he was wearing, and two pants, because he had only three, stuffed them all in his small space in their “shared closet”.

He knew Chanyeol was looking at him the whole time, observing his every move. The attention, the look of pity in the latter’s face irritated him. After putting his clothes, he rose up and turned to Chanyeol, taking the latter slightly aback.

“Are you hungry?” Baekhyun’s face was void of emotion that he was apparently hard to read.

“I’m fine love… how about you? Shall we order some food?” Chanyeol asked back, voice laced with concern.

“Why order? I’m already here… I can cook for you.” Baekhyun replied nonchalantly.

Chanyeol was put into silence, a bit stunned of what he just said, forehead creasing with worry lines. _Guilt_. The taller reached to hold his hand and Baekhyun didn’t budge away.

“You look exhausted my love… we came from a long trip. What do you want? Pizza? Chicken?” Chanyeol tried to sound enthusiastic but it didn’t reach Baekhyun.

“Whatever you like…” Baekhyun finally took his hand from the taller’s grip, looking away. “Just call me if you need anything.”

Once he was outside the room, Baekhyun’s façade just instantly crumbled as warm fat tears trickled from his eyes, down to his cheek. He became weak from the pain that had him sinking down the floor. It was abruptly hefty, unbearable and drowning.

“ _Maybe, I don’t deserve love after all…”_

  * ••



Baekhyun’s behavior got even more concerning as days whirred by and Chanyeol was constantly feeling that bugging pain, excruciating, as he watched the love of his life go through his silent battles _alone_.

He caught the poor dear Baekhyun fidgeting so many times, the anxiety transparent in the windows of his soul, and it broke his heart that he couldn’t even do anything to mend his sorrows.

In fact, it was all his doing.

How could he neglect him?

There was a time Chanyeol got so shocked of Baekhyun waking up haphazardly, scampering out of the room, straight to the kitchen because he had to cook him breakfast and lunch to bring to work. Chanyeol tried all of his might to decrease the intensity of Baekhyun’s agitated nerves at that moment as the latter looked like he was on the verge of breaking down.

_“I-If I don’t cook you food then you will be hungry, and they’d only blame me…”_ Baekhyun’s voice croaked in between his sobbing.

Chanyeol was curious, who were _they_?

It also happened when Baekhyun was ironing his clothes, _which for how many times he reminded not to do anymore,_ and the smaller accidentally burned a part of it out of woolgathering. Chanyeol almost cried seeing the fear creeping into Baekhyun’s face. The smaller immediately begged down on his knees when he approached him, saying “ _I am_ _sorry, I am useless…”_

And Chanyeol also noticed Baekhyun’s frequent searching for part time jobs. He assured him so many times that there was no need as he could already provide for the both of them but, Baekhyun stood adamant. There was something pushing the latter to pursue the search. At first, Chanyeol didn’t really mind. Who was he to stop the smaller from wanting to earn? Yet when he found him one day, a sobbing mess in the middle of the crowded street, handing out leaflets that no one cared to take, Chanyeol knew he needed to intervene. Something was really wrong.

Couldn’t stand to watch him suffer on his own, Chanyeol strode to him urgently, and straight away hugged him. He asked him what he was doing, why he was crying but, his love of his life just erupted more into tears, looking so hopeless as he told him in a stutter,

_“I-I have to w-work b-because I-I’m already useless.”_

And his heart broke more into pieces.

What was wrong with Baekhyun?

Baekhyun was finally close and yet he felt so far away.

The alarming condition forced him to take a two day leave from work to monitor Baekhyun closely. The smaller remained distant from him, always busying himself with chores that Chanyeol always tell him not to necessarily do anymore.

“Love, come here…” Chanyeol called Baekhyun to sit with him on the bed while the latter was in the middle of folding “ _his_ ” clothes. Baekhyun obliged and occupied the space beside him, eyes focused on his fiddling fingers. Chanyeol held his hand to stop the mannerism, giving him gentle squeezes instead.

“Love, I know you’re not okay. But please tell me what is wrong? Hmm? Baby I love you…” He collected the frail dear into his arms, ensuring him assurance. “I’m here, stop worrying.”

Instead of a respond, Chanyeol only heard the smaller’s soft cries.

Chanyeol kissed his crown for so many times, rocking him back and forth in his warmth and comfort as he incessantly remind the smaller that he is loved by him, he is worth it and that everything’s going to be _fine_.

Somehow it worked, but still it was bothering. What was running in Baekhyun’s mind?

Seeing Baekhyun hurting himself alone was Chanyeol’s worst punishment after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for updating this very late and for serving you this pain. hehehe love you 🥺💛


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Home, home is where you are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For glowee 💛

* * *

Ever since Chanyeol and Baekhyun lived together, Chanyeol never heard a thing from his family. Of course, he knew they didn’t like Baekhyun for him; so he made it simple for them—they got away from their sight.

But all of a sudden, today, he received an invitation from his sister. They're celebrating his niece’s first birthday. And what’s even more surprising was that—Baekhyun’s name was included in the card.

Baekhyun was chopping on some ingredients at their small kitchen, busying himself unnecessarily again. Chanyeol sauntered his way to him, to inform him about the news.

Again, Chanyeol felt Baekhyun jolted slightly against his touch when he put his hands on his shoulders. Guilt instantly courses down into Chanyeol’s heart like cold ice. He leaned a kiss on Baekhyun’s temple to relieve him. It helped but Baekhyun was still cowering down, too far from before when he used to respond back with even a sweeter approach.

Chanyeol’s been trying his hardest to bring back his bubbly baby again. Everyday, he always render Baekhyun lots of hugs and kisses, always ensuring him love and support.

But Chanyeol couldn’t figure out still what was wrong with his dear. He attempted to ask, countless times, yet all he got was a lackluster respond of, “ _I’m here. You don't have to worry. I won't run away from you anymore.”_

This was more painful. He’d rather hear him shout at him, get mad at him... than watch him face his battle alone in his excruciating silence.

“Baby…” he prompted sweetly, taking the chair next to Baekhyun. He reached to cradle him on the cheek, caressing his soft skin gently, “…my family want us to visit them.”

_Fear, worry…_ Chanyeol saw those emerge on the smaller’s face but it was gone in seconds as Baekhyun wore back his calm façade quick.

“Okay.” Baekhyun curtly said, resuming his chore, an excuse to not return the taller’s gaze.

Chanyeol let out a heavy sigh, his stomach sinking. _There he is again._ All of these were his fault. The reason behind Baekhyun’s pain was his doing.

“Baby…” Chanyeol coaxed again, taking his hand away from his cheek just so he can hold Baekhyun by the wrist. Baekhyun didn’t resist, leaving the knife on the table, his face screaming exhaustion. The sparkle in his eyes was just gone and Chanyeol’s heart crushed right away at the sight that he immediately collected the smaller into his arms.

“Baby, you can tell me anything.” He sighed. “Please, I’ll do whatever you want. Please, just… I’m here.”

_Silence_. Just that. Baekhyun didn’t utter a thing… Chanyeol got nothing but silence.

Chanyeol dropped another kiss on Baekhyun’s crown, long and hard, as if imprinting his love into the smaller’s brain and gave his back solacing pats. “I love you, Baby… I’m sorry. I love you.” His voice broke when he said the word _sorry_.

And it shattered his heart when Baekhyun just pulled himself away from the hug. He didn’t look Chanyeol in the eye and just continued chopping the onions that were already cut into thin slices. Soon, tears rolled down from his cheeks and Baekhyun only reasoned, “Onions. I’m chopping onions.”

Chanyeol never left his side and just continued brushing Baekhyun’s back. Baekhyun sobbed quietly and Chanyeol’s heart bled along with his tears.

Chanyeol was excited as he pulled Baekhyun along with him outside. He brought a present for them and was hoping this would mend Baekhyun’s sorrow away.

Beaming, Chanyeol showed Baekhyun their Mint blue Vespa Scooter, parked outside the apartment building. Yet, Baekhyun only watched him and the vehicle in confusion, lacking enthusiasm.

“Baby, I got it. Our dream scooter.” Chanyeol said shyly, brushing his nape. “There’s no need for us to commute, we got this now.” Then he smiled reminiscently. “You remember when we used to borrow Sehun’s scooter? Back in college? Joy ride? Now we can do it more often love.”

That was his plan. Re-live their first moments as lovers.

But the excitement didn’t reach Baekhyun. Baekhyun remained apathetic.

“Sure.” Baekhyun responded blandly, clearly uninterested. The joy on Chanyeol’s face was gradually fading, his forehead creasing into worry lines.

“At least you got a scooter now. You’ll never be late to work.” Added by the smaller.

A huge sigh left Chanyeol’s chest. He stretched out his hand to hold Baekhyun’s, gently squeezing him in assurance. Chanyeol could only grin bitterly.

_Baby it hurts_. He wanted to say it.

“Come, I’ll drive you around.”

Chanyeol drove the scooter with Baekhyun hugging him from behind. They toured near sea-side, quiet, letting the fresh air cool their perturbed minds.

Back in college, when they thought their love was strong and they were inseparable, they used to borrow their friend’s scooter and would drive around town in circles, while screaming their lungs out as they enjoy the view of nature or the sun setting down from the horizon, hoping for a love that would last forever. A lot of moments shared like Chanyeol driving the scooter in one hand briefly just to hold one of Baekhyun’s hands that were gripping unto his stomach. They would laugh and sing, steal kisses, talk about their future, _one of that was getting a scooter once they’d get married_ —unproblematic, so young and bold.

And Chanyeol just wanted to cry at their apparent situation. It felt _so_ different. It felt painfully wrong and sad. He missed those days, they missed them.

But again, it’s all his fault. He broke Baekhyun’s heart.

The worst thing wasn’t Baekhyun leaving, but hoping the former version of him would come back. 

Chanyeol was suddenly nervous about them visiting his family after years. He’s feeling suspicious about it but also, he was thinking that maybe they finally realized Baekhyun’s worth in his life. He fought against his family just to be with Baekhyun, and swore he’d never talk to them unless they accept his precious love.

When Chanyeol and Baekhyun reached the festive venue, everyone turned silent. Almost all of Chanyeol’s family members were there. They were enshrouded with silence, alienated by their observing stares.

Until his sister, Yoora, spoke to welcome them in. “Come.” She turned to the rest, as if trying to explain her side. “I invited them because why not? I miss Chanyeol and Baekhyun. And Baekhyun can help us. Right Baekhyun dear?”

Everyone’s gaze was suddenly on Baekhyun, who remained quiet and fidgety at Chanyeol’s side.

“Y-Yes.” Baekhyun stuttered, blinking his eyes rapidly. “I-I’ll be in the kitchen.”

“Yes, dear.” Yoora cooed in her syrupy voice. “I invited you for that. You have an amazing skills in serving since you’re only good in that field.” She smiled, inauthentically. “You used to come around and help me so I missed you—”

“What?” Chanyeol interjected, anger flashing in his eyes. “What did you just say?”

“Chanyeol stop getting mad. Baekhyun used to come here anyway. When I need someone to clean around, he’d volunteer to do it for us. That’s his payment for living with you. He had to serve us.” His mom bitterly added.

Chanyeol just couldn’t believe what he just heard. He turned to Baekhyun, who had his face lowered down in shame.

“Baby is that true?” his voice turned soft as he asked the smaller. “Baby, is it—”

“So our dear Baekhyun already complained huh?” Yoora scoffed. “Why, Baekhyun? Did we ask you for it?”

“N-No.” Baekhyun was literally shaking. “I volunteered—"

“Of course! You’re the one leeching your way here just to get our approval you bitch—”

“SHUT UP!” Chanyeol was in rage, jaw clenching as he warned his sister and the rest of his family. “If you look down on him I swear I will never forgive you!”

Baekhyun just broke into a run, the tears started coming before he even made it outside and Chanyeol saw that.

Chanyeol stayed as realization hit him. All this time, he was wondering what and who were behind Baekhyun’s constant anxiety. Why the smaller kept telling him ‘ _They’d think I don’t feed you. They see me useless…’_ —now he finally knew. It wasn’t just him, but these people, his family and even friends. Them who keep on belittling his dear Baekhyun.

He huffed out a laugh in incredulity, poking his tongue in the inside of his cheek as he contained his anger, his hands balled into a fist. “So you guys think you’re above him now? You guys think you can just enslave someone just because you graduated and he did not? Educated?”

_Tsk_.

“Baekhyun is a precious son in his family too, you guys are shameful!” He eyed them one by one, swearing at them through his gaze. “Why? You think I am that great? Yes, we all graduated, _professional_ but are we that rich? During college, who pursued me? Who payed for my tuition fee? None of you did that! It was Baekhyun! Baekhyun worked and paid for our rent and made me the person who I am now. So who are you people to look down on him?!”

His parents cleared their throats, appearing uncomfortable. His Sister looked away guiltily.

“From now on, I’m no longer a part of this family. I’d rather be on my own than be recognized like the perks of you, egocentric, condescending.” He gritted before bursting out of the venue.

Chanyeol thought Baekhyun already ran away but to his surprise, he saw the smaller sitting in squatting position near their scooter, crying in his arms rested on his bended knees.

Chanyeol approached him and carefully pulled him up to stand. He wrapped Baekhyun in his embrace and allowed him to cry his heart out in his chest. Chanyeol was also in tears as he patted Baekhyun’s back in a solacing manner, also dropping kisses on his crown to soothe him.

“Baby I am really sorry…” Chanyeol’s voice cracked, sniffing more tears and Baekhyun was sobbing even louder like a child that he was even hiccuping. “I am so sorry baby love… sorry.”

Baekhyun deserved so much more.

They ended up sitting across each other in their dining table once they reached their apartment. Chanyeol had his gaze focused at Baekhyun and discovered so many more things. Baekhyun’s weight was worrying, the glow of his skin was fading, his gravity-drawn shoulders a painting of his wrecked heart, and he can see through his eyes the lonely walls his brain built. And Chanyeol wanted to take them down brick by brick. He wished for Baekhyun to just pour it all out, cuss at him, beat the sht out of him.

“Baby, do you still love me?” Chanyeol initiated. He already braced himself for this. If Baekhyun wanted to end them, though it hurts, he would have to let him go.

Baekhyun just smiled though painfully. “I love you…” this time he looked at Chanyeol straight in the eyes that it almost took him aback.

“I love you so much that it exhausted me.” His tears came in generous streams. “You’re right. You didn’t ask me to give you everything. You clearly did not oblige me to cook for you, wash and fold your clothes, do three to four part time jobs to pay our rent… and I am sorry for always making you the bad guy.

“But maybe that’s just how I love. I give my all though my kind of love is already hurting me. I gave my all until it exhausted me.” Baekhyun shook his head, snuffling. “I tried to unloved you… I really tried.” His lips quivered as he continued. “But I can’t.”

“Baby…”

“Chanyeol I’m tired, I feel empty. There’s nothing left in me. Heck, there's more of you inside me than myself.”

Chanyeol rose up from his seat and walked close to Baekhyun. He leaned down and hugged the smaller so tight, brushing the back of his hair in careful strokes as he rocked him back and forth. He felt Baekhyun’s body sag, his muscles relaxing against his embrace.

“You did nothing wrong my love…” Chanyeol said, sadness dripping in his voice, heart breaking for his baby. “You loved me unconditionally and It’s all my fault. I neglected you. I treated you unfairly. God, I took you for granted!” Chanyeol extricated slightly away so he could cup Baekhyun’s cheeks and coax him to look at him. For how many times his heart broke at the image of Baekhyun crying, he couldn’t count anymore. All he hoped was for his sufferings to end. He wanted to make him happy. Chanyeol thumbed away Baekhyun’s tears dry as he said, “This is the stupidest thing I’ll ask, but can you give me another chance? Another chance to prove to you that you deserve so much better?” Chanyeol was also crying nonstop, feeling continuously bad for Baekhyun. “I don't want to lose you baby love. And I don’t want you to lose yourself just because you loved too much. Spare some for yourself, I’m here to help you. Please baby love.”

Chanyeol stared deeply into Baekhyun, proving his sincerity. Through their eyes, they felt like they could just dismiss everything that had happened. And so Baekhyun did.

Baekhyun allowed himself to fall back, like there was no place in the world he’d rather be more but in Chanyeol’s embrace.

And Chanyeol stuck to his words. He consistently showered Baekhyun his love that gradually the smaller was returning to his old self. Not the version of him who loved blindly—but, Baekhyun was back to his positive self. His beautiful smile was coming back to life, glowing, his good mood proven by his constant singing.

Chanyeol gave Baekhyun a laptop as a present, and encouraged him to venture back to his blogging hobby. Baekhyun just tried, just for fun and leisure. But out of his expectation, his blogs got ton amount of reads, making him earn a few cash out of online ads.

Chanyeol was supportive of course. He was lowkey behind Baekhyun’s blog views as he always remind his co-workers in the office to visit Baekhyun’s site—almost everyday. Also, out of the smaller’s knowing, one time, he brought two tubs of Baekhyun’s ref cakes to work and asked his colleagues to give it a try.

And they loved it. Chanyeol was then flooded by their requests. They wanted to know where they can buy the ref cakes.

Chanyeol went home that time, excited to bring up the good news to the smaller. And It truly flattered Baekhyun when Chanyeol told him. He started selling five tubs first, till days flew by and he was selling out 50 tubs per day. It felt like a dream to him—it was crazy! His blogging site also helped his sales a lot. He posted about the ref cakes and the feedbacks were positive. Soon, he started selling out more of the dessert not just in Chanyeol’s office but in some other areas of the cities too. Baekhyun would deliver them by himself, _thanks to their dream scooter,_ and whenever Chanyeol’s free, they’d deliver cakes together.

Their love wasn’t perfect but it was true. They loved unconditionally, by means of loving each other through quirks, flaws and challenges.

Today was a special day, their anniversary. Just like the old times, they cooked food, arranged their dining table and enjoyed the date together. After savoring their sumptuous meal, they cuddled in their shared room while watching a movie.

Chanyeol chose the movie—well it was not actually one. It was a short video compilation of their shared moments throughout the years they were together. Baekhyun was already crying, snuggled up to the taller’s embrace when suddenly, Chanyeol brought up to his view a small velvet box with a ring in it.

Baekhyun turned speechless, and was incredulous. He looked up at Chanyeol in confusion and Chanyeol was already smiling down at him, adoring his expression.

“I know this is not grand. I know I should be bending down on my knees right now, blow up fireworks and should have taken you to a fancy restaurant…

“But I thought about this for days. We’ve been dating and living together for years now, it’s like we're already married. And just like this, I want to propose my entire tomorrows with you in our own comfort, in my arms, because home is where you are.”

Tears started to roll down to Baekhyun’s cheeks but they were out of joy—he was genuinely happy.

Chanyeol continued, holding Baekhyun’s cheek with his other hand. “Marry me love. Make me your constant, your everyday, your forever.”

Baekhyun looked like he couldn’t fathom everything that was unfolding before him. He suddenly couldn’t get out how much he wanted this. His voice might have failed him, but his body spoke volumes. He threw himself into Chanyeol’s arms and held unto him tightly. Baekhyun kissed the latter first and when they kissed, everything just felt right.

Too soon, their kiss slowed, and they both pulled back, drowning into each other’s eyes. They clearly saw it through the windows of their souls—home.

And at last, Baekhyun found his voice.

“Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the ending is not that grand, heck this chapter is not that much good as well. But i want it to end this way. hehehe thank you so much for reading this story that i made during the peak days of lockdown. 
> 
> And if youre wondering "hmm this story sounds familiar " well this was inspired from the side couple in the kdrama fight for my way. Hmm inspired only but i made it "my way" hehehe 🤦🏼♀️
> 
> Again thank you 💛💛💛 comments are highly appreciated ✨

**Author's Note:**

> i would love it if you leave comments 🥺😭💕


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